Confessions. Secrects. Thoughts. Rants. Embarrassments. Hang ups. Put downs.

I went to a pet store and put on a whole big show about buying a puppy just so I could hold it. There's no way in hell I was going to fork over the hundreds of dollars for it. I wasted all their time when other customers probably actually wanted to buy an animal. He was a nice puppy though.

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My boyfriend hasn't called me in over three weeks. I keep telling myself he is just busy. Whenever I meet somebody new, I look at their shoes. That's how I form my entire opinion of them. Funny, huh?

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If my wife found out I cheat on her, she would be crushed, but I can't help it. When we make love she just lies there like a starfish. She is discusting. That's why I need somebody younger and more energetic. Without Kelly I would probably kill myself or cut my dick off.

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My English teacher is so hot! I want to fuck her in every possible way. She is practically all I think about. My girlfriend says I am being distant, and it's true, I am, because I think I am in love with my teacher. It's pretty sad actually. I love you Mrs. H!

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My balls hurt. I think it's because I masturbate too much. Is that possible?

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I am a lifeguard at the YMCA, but I am really lazy and I hate all the snot-nosed kids. One time a kid was drowning so I just sat down on the side of the pool and let him grab my leg. If he was farther away I would have jumped in to save him, but I think I would have let him splash around a little bit first to make him learn his lesson and to punish him for making me get wet.

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I work in a grocery store in the produce section. Everybody is always talking about how great Garlick is for you, so one day I took a big bite right out of a garlick bulb. It was so gross that I threw up all over some cantaloupes. Never try it. I washed the cantoloupes off with a hose and put them out anyway, Hahaha!

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I like shitty, shitty music just to be contrary. I purposeoly track down shit that nobody likes. As soon as something becomes popular I hate it, cause I am 'punk'.

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I tell people I have given head to 10 guys, but even that is a lie. Try 30! 16f

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Nobody knows that I have posed naked for pictures on the internet. I needed the money, but not really that bad. I don't know why I did it.

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