Confessions. Secrects. Thoughts. Rants. Embarrassments. Hang ups. Put downs.

My balls hurt. I think it's because I masturbate too much. Is that possible?

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If my wife found out I cheat on her, she would be crushed, but I can't help it. When we make love she just lies there like a starfish. She is discusting. That's why I need somebody younger and more energetic. Without Kelly I would probably kill myself or cut my dick off.

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I once was flirting with this really hot girl- then I learned that she was only 13 years old (almost 14) and I was about 19 at the time. The sad part is, I still didn't stop flirting with her and I had to muster all of my willpower not to take advantage of her. Even so, it was really only because I didn't want to end up in jail or something. She looked older than she was.

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Every day I wake up and take a shower. Then I get in my car and drive for almost one hour to get to work. I work quietely by myself for 8-10 hours, occasionally going to my favorite sites, then I drive home. When I get home I eat dinner and watch the news to find out what happened while I was in the windowless room all day. I go online and check all the same websites that I was checking at work, then I watch some TV. I fall asleep before Leno ends. On the weekends I sleep late and watch a movie, I pay my bills and go shopping. This is not how I pictured my life when I was in college.

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when i was 10 i put paint all over my neighbor's new white car just because i could. I never got caught.

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I pay prostitutes for anal sex even though I am engaged to be married. My fiancé knows nothing. Don't tell, shh!

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I work in a grocery store in the produce section. Everybody is always talking about how great Garlick is for you, so one day I took a big bite right out of a garlick bulb. It was so gross that I threw up all over some cantaloupes. Never try it. I washed the cantoloupes off with a hose and put them out anyway, Hahaha!

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I am such a slut even though I am a virgin. I have really big boobs, and everybody stares at them and I like it, but i am too awkward to have a good relationship with somebody. I am really horny but whenever i make passes at guys, i do it stupidly, like, i just don't know how to do it and everybody makes fun of me and calls me a whore. Then the guy is always too embarrassed to do anything with me because of it. One time I drove one of my guy friends home after a party and I showed him my boobs. He touched them too. He doesn't like me at all though, he hates me actually. I made the mistake of telling some of my friends, and then he started all these rumors about me saying how i am a liar and a slut and I made everything up, but if I made it all up then why am I a slut? aaaaaah! maybe I will kill myself.

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One time I masterbated with my mom's screwdriver. It has a pink handle and says "Lady's Helper" on it, so I figured, why not? It was pretty funny and it felt really good, too. I cleaned it off and put it back in the case with the rest of the "lady's Helper" tools. I will use the hammer next.

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I think about calling the police every day...

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