I am a guy. One of my friends who is a girl recently cheated on her boyfriend. I give her hell about it and tell her she discusts me and get on this huge moral high horse, but I think the real reason I am upset is that really I wish it was me she cheated on her bf with.
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My parents recently threw out a couch because it was dirty beyond recognition. They wondered about how it got that way, but here is the truth. I watched porns on HBO and Cinemax all the time and I jerked off and wiped it on the cushion, and now we are getting a new couch that probably cost a few hundred dollars. Sorry. I am 14.
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One time I masterbated with my mom's screwdriver. It has a pink handle and says "Lady's Helper" on it, so I figured, why not? It was pretty funny and it felt really good, too. I cleaned it off and put it back in the case with the rest of the "lady's Helper" tools. I will use the hammer next.
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for a long time i ignored how crazy this bitch was cause all I wanted to do was fuck her. She used to do crazy shit like draw herself naked and bleeding and a lot of other nuts stuff too. She really is crazy, but i fucked her anyway. i don't call her up anymore. ha.
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Dr. Seuss is overrated.
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I fuck a differant guy practically every night. I like to, but the real reason I do it is because I hate saying no. Sometimes they don't use a condom and I am not on the pill.
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I sometimes wish I were a dog so I could piss all over everything and get away with it. I would be a golden retriever.
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I was having a really bad day the other day and I was on my period, so I kicked a poodle dog that was walking down the street. I felt so bad right after I did it, I was just so angry and frustrated at the world in general. I think I might have broke its leg cause it was limping and whining. Sorry, pooch.
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I used my roomates microwave to make popcorn and I caught it on fire. I put the fire out, but now the microwave no longer works. There are burn marks all over it and it's very obvious what happened, but i'll never admit it.
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I go to college and I live in a dorm. One day I was walking down the hallway looking in the open doors and I saw a bag of cookies, you know the soft chocolate chip cookies that come in the red bag? There was nobody in the room and I was hungry, so I made sure nobody was looking than I really quick grabbed the cookies and took them to my room. The bag was half empty, so I finished what was left then put the bag in my trash under some papers and stuff so nobody would see it. I felt really bad afterwards, but I will probably do it again if I get the chance.
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